20 - 25 of 25 - F'n Finally!

20. Once, I literally almost ran into Elvis Costello. I was late for a call back and was running across a crowded street, not really looking at who was coming at me. I looked up just in time to stop myself from crashing into a startled Mr. Costello. He was crossing with a woman friend, sort of protecting her from my hurling body and looking back on it, I'm betting it was (his now wife) Diana Krall. I'm a huge fan of his and only had the chance to yell out "sorry!" to him. I didn't get the job, which was, ironically to be a VH1 host.

21. My first professional commercial was for Quincy's steak house. My "date" and I went through about 7 or 8 steaks that we spit out between takes. Turns out she was a vegetarian. I had the taste of steak in my mouth for a good 5 days after that.

22. I still ride a bicycle and have since I was about 6 (now it's mainly part of my commute). I used to live in a very rural area of NC (now it's all urban sprawl) and people would dump their unwanted junk in ditches or back in the woods throughout my neighborhood. My brother and I would ride our bikes around and find all sorts of cool stuff like old busted amplifiers or model airplanes, toy Millennium Falcons. We'd fix them and play with them. Disgusting but true.

23. Unfortunately, I'm a primper. I spend loads of time in the bathroom primping. Don't know why, but I do, and my wife hates it. But once I'm done, that's it, no more until the next morning.

24. Although I call myself an actor, I really dislike seeing plays, especially musicals. I love doing them, but not watching them. I feel the same way about sports and comedy. MOVIES however, are a completely different story.

25. And finally, hold on to your hats... I farted during a show that was performed in a "theater in the round" setting. I was there to see a one-act that a friend had directed. Unfortunately I was there with my best friend and his girlfriend, two of the funniest people on the planet (to me at least). My friend's play finished up and it was on to the next one. This one, however decided to be an experimental production done in Kabuki makeup and broad gestures. I can't remember what the play was about, maybe something about a group of friends looking for an apartment in NYC or something. It starts out with this very large gentleman walking onstage in black tights and Kabuki makeup. He walks across the stage and sits on what has to be the smallest stool-seat to ass ratio known to man and begins to play a tiny wooden xylophone. My best friend leans over and whispers in an announcery voice, "it's Paul Shaffer!" That started contained giggles, but those quickly became more difficult to control due to the other actors' broad gestures. It was at this point I lost all control. [mwearnt] ...and the rest of our section launches into chuckles at my gas. For the next 20 minutes the actors onstage directed all their monologues at me and my friends. As soon as the blackout happened we all bolted for the exit but one of my friends wasn't fast enough. He got snagged by the actors and they blamed him for all the noise. I feel really bad about screwing up their show, but man, what a fun time - worth the price of admission.